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How I want it to happen: I'm deep behind enemy cover, having just escaped from Dr. Claw's clutches. I'm weak, tired, and my gadgets are rusty from days of hanging from chains in a damp dungeon. Dodging bullets left and right, I stumble as I approach the perimeter fence. Although they still work, my gadget legs are severely damaged and slow my progress. After leaping the fence, I activate my gadget binoculars and see a nearby highway. Dr. Claw personally smashed my gadget 'copter and tore out the spare after grinding down my gadget roller skates; I was going to have to keep running if I was going to stay alive. As I approached the highway, I took further inventory of my gadgets: Gadget lasso - cut Gadget springs - ground down Gadget Mallet - used to destroy the gadget 'copter Gadget skis - Christ, how many things can my fucking shoes hold?
A car back fire jarred me back to the present. I had crossed the gap between Dr. Claw's fortress and the highway faster than I expected. Running in front of an oncoming vehicle, I signaled my distress the way any normal human would - by raising a flashing police light out of my skull. "Official police business, ma'am; you'll have to transport me to Metro City!" "Gas, grass or ass?" the young woman asked. "Ma'am, this is hardly the time" "Get in," the girl interrupted, lowering her panties. "Eatin' ain't cheatin" I realized that the car wasn't moving without the sex favor, so I activated my gadget tongue Dremel tool and feather duster and set to work. After several salty moments, I asked my seductress if I could get a ride now. The girl rose from her seat and tilted her head back to expose a computer and speaker built into her android neck. I heard Dr. Claw's voice echo that most famous of phrases as the 7.62 round penetrated my eye. How it will probably happen: Jerkin off; have a heart attack. Tags: if you read that at work i am sorry, inspector gadget, nsfw
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Sui is sleeping in the clothes basket again
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----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: 390020400 Date: Jun 17, 2008 7:27 AM I'm Ruth : ) I really feel shy but I have to tell you, Lawnmower Kitten, that you are just a man of my dreams.I found your profile by accident but now I'm sure it's a destiny! : ) Frankly speaking... I want to find a man who will help me to realize all my fantasies. Oh, I feel really SO timid writing about it; but I mean my sexy fantasies. ;-) Your photos are marvelous... but I'm sure in your real life you will excite me even more! : ) Its incredible, but I'm from Youngstown, Ohio United States too! :-) So I would like to start a friendship with you, Lawnmower Kitten! You can find my spicy photos on my profile! Lawnmower Kitten, I hope you'll take a look at them and will write me (unintelligible) Hi Ruth! wow, that's crazy! I can't believe that you know so much about me as a person and are ready to hop in bed with me after reading my webcomic. I was hoping LMK would get me a hand job or something from a drunk chick in a bar bathroom, but to see it attracting you is a carnal delight. I hate to have to ruin your hopes, but I actually don't look anything like my pictures. You see, I'm a 25 year old man and not a defunct black and white webcomic. I hope that you can learn to love the "real" me. I tried to see your photos, but I was inundated with requests for my credit card, social security number, home address and other personal information. Could you just send me another e-mail address here that I can talk to you on? You know; one that doesn't cost $30.00 a month? Please? LMK Tags: lmk, myspace, porn, spam
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Five Dollar Foot Long Commerical
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I made a dumb video parodying student loan commercials I had seen on television: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRHhtmMPiBUI posted it on Youtube a few months ago and never thought about it again. Anyways, I got a message in my email from Kim Palmer, the senior business editor for US.News and World Report: "I am a reporter for US News & World Report. I am writing an article on student loan marketing and I came across your parody of the Astrive loans. I'd love to talk to you about it, how you got the idea, etc - would that be possible. " I did some background research on her to make sure it wasn't a scam and sent her an e-mail. Around 2:38 I got a call from her and we chatted for about 10 minutes. She asked me about the video and my idea for it. She also asked about my thoughts on the student loan market and my own experiences with student loans. The article will appear in the third week of April. The focus of the magazine will be student loans. The entire experience was and continues to be surreal. People who spend thousands of dollars on video equipment and editing software don't have that kind of luck. I'm not sure if I'll appear in very much of the article, but it's still neat. Kimberly Palmer writes for a section of the magazine's website found here: http://www.usnews.com/alphaMat
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mat_suit's journal
Previous
grumpy
How I want it to happen:
I'm deep behind enemy cover, having just escaped from Dr. Claw's clutches.
I'm weak, tired, and my gadgets are rusty from days of hanging from chains in a damp dungeon.
Dodging bullets left and right, I stumble as I approach the perimeter fence. Although they still work, my gadget legs are severely damaged and slow my progress.
After leaping the fence, I activate my gadget binoculars and see a nearby highway.
Dr. Claw personally smashed my gadget 'copter and tore out the spare after grinding down my gadget roller skates; I was going to have to keep running if I was going to stay alive.
As I approached the highway, I took further inventory of my gadgets:
Gadget lasso - cut
Gadget springs - ground down
Gadget Mallet - used to destroy the gadget 'copter
Gadget skis - Christ, how many things can my fucking shoes hold?
A car back fire jarred me back to the present. I had crossed the gap between Dr. Claw's fortress and the highway faster than I expected.
Running in front of an oncoming vehicle, I signaled my distress the way any normal human would - by raising a flashing police light out of my skull.
"Official police business, ma'am; you'll have to transport me to Metro City!"
"Gas, grass or ass?" the young woman asked.
"Ma'am, this is hardly the time"
"Get in," the girl interrupted, lowering her panties. "Eatin' ain't cheatin"
I realized that the car wasn't moving without the sex favor, so I activated my gadget tongue Dremel tool and feather duster and set to work.
After several salty moments, I asked my seductress if I could get a ride now.
The girl rose from her seat and tilted her head back to expose a computer and speaker built into her android neck.
I heard Dr. Claw's voice echo that most famous of phrases as the 7.62 round penetrated my eye.
How it will probably happen:
Jerkin off; have a heart attack.